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  • Healing the Sacred Body

Why Tantra Massage is a Sexual De- Conditioning

If you’ve ever wanted to try a tantra massage, but felt barriers or obstacles in the way, that may be because somewhere deep inside of you, you knew it might be an experience that would change the way you approach sex forever.


Tantra massage is not about sex, but it is about sexual energy, otherwise known as, creative life force. In the modern day, we are rushing around and trying to achieve endless goals that we set ourselves and that society expects of us. We are mainly operating at a head level, and so thinking constantly about either the past or the future. We spend our days unconsciously accumulating stress in our bodies and then use numerous unhealthy coping strategies to release this stress. Masturbation and sex are two ways. Our sexuality mirrors our life and patterns and so quite often, we will rush self- pleasuring and sex, like we do with the rest of our lives. Tantra is about enjoying the journey, not just the end destination!


Tantra massage teaches you to relax into the pleasure and excitement, rather than tense into it. Tensing or contracting, is known as a fear response or holding against some form of feeling or emotion. Neo- Tantra is about allowing yourself to feel everything. Allowing the natural expansion of your energy body, not being afraid of your uprising sexual energy and simply being with it. Enjoying goalless pleasure, not needing it all to be about orgasm, but actually opening up to greater possibilities beyond what your mind knows.


Tantra massage works with the sexual energy in a more conscious way. As a practitioner, I guide you to notice and be more aware of your body, sensations, thoughts, desires, feelings. We slow everything down and give space to things happening within you. You’re invited to drop in to a present state, deep into your inner experience, a place of stillness and calm. Your nervous system finally has a chance to rest.


And so, instead of using porn or fantasy to reach orgasm, in a session with me, you’re encouraged to become more embodied by allowing the energy to move through you, using breath, sound and movement. In this way, you lessen dependancy on visual stimulation and your mind, being with the enhanced pleasure generated by being more receptive, aware and surrendered. The masculine is typically pro- active and dominant, but in the session, you simply just be. You let go of control, pleasing or performing. Your body becomes less like a machine you give orders to, when getting caught up in the feminine’s orgasmic response and more like an expanded, sensual vessel, melting into the blissful touch.


Sometimes male clients tell me in their current relationship or with their sexual partner, they are having trouble maintaining erection and have a lot of anxiety around this, as it didn’t used to happen. I ask, well do you feel an emotional connection to your partner and the answer is often, “no”. Perhaps there is love, but true intimacy is missing. Communication has ceased. Tantra is showing you how to align your sex, heart and spirit and if you’re only connecting through the sex (genitals), then you are missing out on the beautiful heart and spiritual energy that amplifies such a sacred act. Using breathing techniques and meditation, you can start to consciously connect on a heart level and 3rd eye level, pulling the sexual energy up from the pelvis, opening yourself up as a channel to give and receive.


The sessions can offer you another way to alter your state of consciousness, but in a sober and grounded way. We experience something in the body, a deeper and more intuitive knowing, something the mind cannot comprehend. When we do this, we start to have insights and realisations into our lives…we make connections to present and past events and gain more clarity over previous painful patterns and how we can change them, creating choice and more freedom in how we live our lives.


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